Drew Crousore’s wife, MJ, planned a hell of a 40th birthday surprise for her hubby. Drew was down in Scottsdale, Ariz. wrapping up a business trip, so she suggested he stay down there for the weekend, and she’d fly in. Little did he know that she had asked friends and family to do the same. Classmates Mike Langford, Miles Miller, and Luke Messer surprised their Phi Delt pledge brother and took advantage of the nice Arizona weather to boot!

Pictured: Mike Langford, Miles Miller, Drew Crousore, and Luke Messer hit the links.

The Grunge Report reports that classmate Matt Mellady and his wife, Boi, wrote a children’s book on manners that was featured earlier this month in the Baltimore Sun. It’s reposted below.

You can order a copy of their book What Do You Say As You Go Through Your Day? from Amazon or Trafford Publishing. Here’s to living the Wabash mission by teaching kids, and their parents, to live humanely.

A lesson in good manners

By Janene Holzberg
Special to The Baltimore Sun

March 8, 2009

As she watched the author of Choosing Civility turn the pages of a children’s book on etiquette, Boi Carpenter-Mellady almost had to pinch herself.

For Boi and her husband, Matthew Mellady, first-time authors and fans of P.M. Forni, awaiting his verdict on their almost-finished book seemed a bit surreal.

After all, it was Forni’s book that inspired the ubiquitous “Choose Civility in Howard County” car magnets.

And his 208-page volume containing 25 rules of considerate conduct is used by many as a handbook for living a kinder and gentler life.

“I felt like I was watching my favorite teacher grade my paper,” said Boi (pronounced BOH-ee).

The Woodstock couple, both 40, had decided to write their book on kids’ manners in spring 2007, initially inspired by the unmistakable cadence of Dr. Seuss.

“I think I was reading Green Eggs and Ham aloud to our daughter, Brynne, who was 18 months old at the time,” said Matthew, an attorney with the Justice Department.

When he finished, he riffed aloud in Seuss’ distinct rhythm, “What do you say when you meet someone new? You smile, shake hands and say how do you do.”

The couple exchanged glances, and the idea to collaborate on a kids’ book on manners sprang to life. Within a month, they had a working outline for What Do You Say As You Go Through Your Day?

Passionate about parenting, the pair are equally ardent about etiquette. Their book is dedicated to their only child, now 3, who is depicted in the book’s illustrations.

“We had already been discussing how we wanted to raise Brynne to be a citizen of the world,” said Boi, a fundraising manager at Johns Hopkins Medicine.

Writing the book was a natural extension of that desire, she said.

“We see etiquette as a way to teach children to be responsible and caring individuals,” she said. “There has been a decline in civility, we believe, so this book is a return to basics.”

Matthew recalled Forni concurring with that notion when the couple met with him last summer.

“He said we were helping to rediscover a lost art and our book was powerful in its simplicity,” Matthew said.

Forni, the civility champion who is a native of Italy and a literature professor at the Johns Hopkins University, wrote a favorable review that is printed on the back of the book. He calls the book “a gem … that delivers powerful messages with a quiet charm.”
Obviously pleased with their effort, Forni said the mere existence of the couple’s book reinforces that idea that we are in a “period of rediscovery” of manners.

“Etiquette wasn’t a priority a decade ago,” Forni said last week in a telephone interview. “And now it is on the national agenda, as our new president seems to embody civil behavior to a remarkable extent.”

Forni, who also directs the Civility Initiative at Hopkins, said the Melladys are “the right people for this project.” The author said he gets the sense they are “profoundly decent, as well as very smart and very serious” about their book.

Children must realize that their actions have consequences for others, Forni added, and the couple’s picture book stresses that concept in a delightful way.

“We must teach self-restraint along with self-esteem,” he said. “Good manners are the training wheels of altruism.”

The Melladys, who said they moved to Howard County five years ago for its public school system, set their book on the day of a birthday party, using that occasion as a springboard for demonstrating proper etiquette from waking to bedtime.

“Proper” could be the very adjective that puts some people off, though.

“Etiquette is one of the most misunderstood words,” said Peggy Post, director of the Emily Post Institute.

“It is not just a rigid set of formal rules for where a fork goes in a place setting, or a prissy way of talking,” said Post, who continues the work of her husband’s famous great-grandmother whose name is synonymous with manners.

“Etiquette is value-based and encompasses being respectful, considerate, honest and ethical,” she said in a telephone interview.

“Times are frenzied, and manners make life run smoothly,” she said. “It’s never too early to start teaching etiquette.”

Boi said that etiquette enhances interpersonal relationships, which are the basis for navigating our fast-paced, highly technological world.

Matthew conceded that finding the time for their pet project isn’t always easy.

“We take turns writing, usually on weekend mornings or when Brynne is napping,” he said.

There is definitely more to self-publishing than initially meets the eye, though, both acknowledged.

Advertising for an illustrator at the Maryland Institute College of Art, deciding on Trafford Publishing in Canada, getting their title on bookshelves in independent bookstores - all these steps have forced them to cram on marketing principles.

Nonetheless, the subject remains so close to their hearts that they envision a series of nine books, each one modeling the correct responses to different encounters.

Their second picture book, which they plan to self-publish this summer, will focus on table manners and teach proper etiquette of sharing a meal.

“Manners are the building blocks of interpersonal relationships,” Boi said. “They help us get along in daily life.”

Pictured: Brynne Mellady, 3, looks through the book her parents have written to introduce preschoolers to basic etiquette. (Baltimore Sun photo by Doug Kapustin / March 5, 2009)

Pictured: Matthew and Boi Mellady, with daughter, Brynne, at her side, participate in story time at the Goddard School in Woodstock. The couple say their book is the first in a series they’’ll write on manners. (Baltimore Sun photo by Doug Kapustin / March 5, 2009)

Another vid making the virtual rounds. Comedian Louis CK on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Seriously, whatever happened to waiting? Sometimes I wonder how I made it out of pledgeship with no cell phone!

Do you have a Wabash story to tell? At a new Web site, you can do just that, or you can request someone to tell a story. For instance, I just filled out the online form requesting remembrances about Tommies.

Bruce Gras ‘68 set up the online repository. Check it out at www.wabashstories.com.

Some of you Net savvy guys may already have seen this. But for those who haven’t, check out this video making its way around the Internets. Perspective is illuminating sometimes.

You’ve heard the story. It’s recounted in the book Wabash College: The First Hundred Years:

[In the fall of 1886], as it was anticipated that a crowd of rooters would go over to see the next game, it was felt for the first time that a college yell and a college color were needed. A mass meeting was held on the campus. The yell determined upon was to do service for ten years. It went:

The color selected was the Scarlet. But almost there was a miscarriage. For the tide was running strongly in favor of heliotrope. Then a speaker arose, with few words but cogent. “Heliotrope, Hell!” orated he: “We want blood!” And Scarlet it is.

Well, I guess I never bothered to wonder what the hell heliotrope looked like. I just thought it was a lame shade of red. Boy, was I wrong! Here’s what it looks like. (I looked it up.)

Can you imagine how the Dannies would react to violet uniforms? It was bad enough when I went to Northwestern for grad school trying to find a very blue shade of purple to wear, but this?

Yuk. I’m glad we went for blood!

Funny how politics works. No sooner do we finish one election than we begin to look at the next. In Indiana, the fifth district congressman Dan Burton has long been seen as vulnerable by both parties, but to date a viable candidate has yet to make a serious challenge. Apparently, according to Matthew Tully of the Indianapolis Star, that’s about to change. One of the contenders being bandied about is our own Luke Messer. Read on…

Tully’s Corner

The Indianapolis Star
March 1, 2009

by Matthew Tully

Any doubts about the serious threat U.S. Rep. Dan Burton faces in the 2010 GOP primary probably were put to rest by a powerful Republican duo last week.

The duo — businessman P.E. MacAllister and former Indiana Republican Party Chairman Jim Kittle — sent out a letter supporting former state Rep. Luke Messer’s challenge to Burton.

“We know there is a potential primary battle brewing and, like most of you, we do not take getting involved in primary races lightly,” reads the letter, which was sent to key Republicans. “Sometimes, however, a race is too important to simply sit on the sidelines.”

In the realm of endorsement letters, it doesn’t get much bigger than this one.

Any Indiana Republican running for high office will tell you one of the first steps you take on the campaign trail is MacAllister’s office.

A Star report about a GOP function in 2008 summed up MacAllister’s influence: “Insiders said they knew how much an endorsement from MacAllister meant to a fledgling politician, idea or civic initiative,” the report stated.

Politicians ranging from former Marion County Prosecutor Scott Newman to U.S. Sen. Richard Lugar point to MacAllister as a key figure in their careers.

Kittle, meanwhile, is a top fundraiser whose name and immense contact list should give Messer’s campaign, which is still officially in the exploratory stage, a boost.

Perhaps most important, the letter makes clear the dissatisfaction with Burton among many Indiana Republicans.

The 5th District Republican routinely has raised eyebrows with his decisions — such as skipping a week of House votes to go golfing in 2007. It also underscores how politically vulnerable Burton, who was first elected in 1982, has become.

Party honchos rarely support challengers in partisan primaries. But Burton’s stock has fallen in the eyes of many Indiana Republicans; he barely survived a primary fight against former Marion County Coroner John McGoff last year.

Several other Republicans have expressed interest in the primary, including former congressional candidate Brose McVey, McGoff and State Rep. Mike Murphy.

At this point, though, Messer’s effort appears to be gathering the most momentum. He is receiving help from GOP heavyweights such as campaign operative Jennifer Hallowell and longtime insider Lou Gerig.

Messer, a former state representative who is close to Gov. Mitch Daniels and formerly served as executive director of the state GOP, is widely considered one of the party’s most respected figures. He is a partner at Ice Miller.

“Nationally, our party is at a critical juncture,” the letter from MacAllister and Kittle says. “We can and must do better. Working together, our party can return to leadership if we remain true to our principles and if we focus on identifying strong, conservative, reform-minded leaders.”

Burton isn’t conceding anything. He has stepped up his public relations activity of late and is known to be a fierce competitor.

This should be a fun race to watch.

I’m glad I picked up a copy of The Phoenix when I was on campus last week. The latest edition features an article about our own classmate Matt Hanson. I’m also glad my scanner has an OCR that converts print into Word docs! Here’s the story…

From the Midwest to the Middle East

An Interview with Judge Matthew G. Hanson ‘91

By Michael Nossett ‘11
Staff Writer

The honors won by each loyal son, In highest rank shall instate her. Forever more as in days of yore Their deeds be noble and grand. ~ “Old Wabash”

As we reverently remember in the strains of our dear fight song, this tiny and secluded liberal arts college has produced quite a number of honorable men that have gone on to greatly impact the world. Even a quick glance through the yearbooks of this school will yield an impressive number of such noble men who both have and will continue to demonstrate the great ideals that Wabash holds so dearly: the values of thinking critically, acting responsibly, leading effectively, and living humanely.

Of the many men who have carried the scarlet W both in their hearts and on their diplomas, there is one recent graduate in particular that deserves select mentioning for his “noble and grand” deeds. That man would be the Honorable Matthew G. Hanson of the Class of 1991 who, though presiding over the Morgan Circuit Court in Martinsville, Indiana, recently returned from nearly eighteen months leave of absence serving as a Captain in the Judge Advocate General’s Corps in Baghdad, Iraq.

A quick visit to his office reveals quite plainly that Judge Hanson is a Wally through and through. Pictures of Monon Bell games and other Wabash mementos decorate his office in the Morgan County Courthouse. And yet, perhaps what is most telling about Hanson—who, when not serving in his official capacity, tells everyone to just call him “Matt”—are the things that do not bear the bright red W, things like Hanson’s humble and caring spirit, and his tales from service abroad.

A native of the Buckeye State, Hanson came to Wabash as a member of the Class of ‘91, and quickly became involved on campus, joining the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity, majoring in History with a minor in both English and Religion, and eventually joining the Sphinx Club. Upon graduating, Hanson says that a career in law “seemed like the next step”, and thus, he went on to attend the University of Toledo Law School, graduating in 1994. From there, Hanson returned to Indiana to open up his own private practice in Indianapolis, while also working as a lobbyist at the Statehouse. These were good experiences, he reminisces, yet were not quite what the self-described “politician by trade” had in mind. Consequently, Hanson decided to apply for a job in government himself: that of Deputy Prosecutor in Martinsville. After serving in that capacity for a few years, the local Circuit Court Judge position became available and, “on a dare” from another candidate for the position, Hanson decided to run for the office as well, and went on to win.

Since his election and official appointment in 2001, Judge Hanson has presided over cases of all types. Per Indiana law, the Circuit Court is responsible over trials ranging from small claims to adoption to murder. No matter the case at hand, however, Hanson shows a great deal of responsibility, making his decisions as efficiently as possible (generally, within two weeks of the trial), and reporting all of his outside contact regarding each case. When he is approached by someone wishing to discuss a certain case, Hanson dutifully declines and reports that contact in the court’s record—something that he does not have to do—so as to avoid any sort of corruption or bending of the law for special instances.

Outside of his official capacity, Hanson does not try to demand people’s respect; instead, he tries to earn it by his humility. To him it is the office, and not the man, that demands respect. The person holding an office should be held in high regard as one vested with authority, but that authority should never give an officeholder license to lord it over others. “The man makes the position what it is,” Hanson says, “But,” noting that at the end of the day the position lives on, he adds, “You have to leave it as how you got it.” And that’s exactly what Hanson is doing, both as a Judge and also as the self-appointed (though unofficial) historian of the Morgan Circuit Court. In his spare time, Hanson has researched and produced biographical displays of each judge that has held the office that he now occupies, which are now exhibited prominently in his courtroom—proving that you can put a degree in History to good use!

Though Hanson is quite content serving his country in such a position, he also serves in another capacity: Captain in the Judge Advocate General’s Corps of the Indiana National Guard. Members of the JAG Corps serve as the legal arm of the US armed forces, litigating cases and advising the military in matters of the law, and, just like their other G.I. counterparts, are deployed around the globe wherever they are needed. So why would Hanson leave a nice, safe job in Martinsville for the battlefield? As he explains it, his decision was ultimately based on the 9/11 attacks, which occurred just two days before the birth of his first child. Hanson never forgot the anger he felt from those unjust attacks, and after seeing local soldiers going to and from Afghanistan and Iraq, most of whom were still “kids” in his eyes, he decided, “I can do something. I can help.” Thus, Hanson joined the JAG Corps in 2004, and after months of training and preparation, deployed along with his comrades in the 193rd Brigade Liaison Detachment to Baghdad, Iraq, in the summer of 2007.

As captain in his unit of twelve fellow soldiers (JAG members, MP’s, and others), Hanson had expected to run some of the prisons and Theater Internment Facilities (TIF’s) in Iraq, but upon arriving in Baghdad found that he was to be used in other manners. Based out of Camp Victory, the differing specialists in his unit were put to work doing a number of things, while he was put to work as “a wheel in the cog of release,” as he describes it, helping determine which Iraqi prisoners should be freed and which should be retained. Primarily, Hanson says, his work was restricted to the Iraqi people and to the Mojahedin-e-Kalq peoples (MEK’s), who are basically refugees from Iran residing in Iraq. In his spare time, which he says he had a lot of, Hanson either tackled other issues for the Army, or sat down to write his book, Ghosts of Baghdad, a novel based on the aftermath of the 1991 Iraq war.

Though most of his duties had to do with military proceedings, Hanson had several eye-opening experiences in dealing with the Iraqi people. “It is a totally different culture over there,” Hanson explains, one in which fear was a normality, and hardships were abundant, thanks to Saddam’s regime. Evidence of such hardship could be found in just looking at the scenery. As Hanson described it, Baghdad is a beautiful city, with trees, palaces and picturesque lakes all over (thanks to Saddam’s lavish habits); yet, outside the city, living conditions and even the scenery are quite dismal. Moreover, Hanson noticed that in the Iraqi culture, thievery is seen not as a bad thing, but instead as a means necessary to survival. “If you gave some Iraqis five minutes in my office,” Hanson relates, “they would not only take everything off of the walls, but they would also take the trim pieces from around the doors and everything else they could get their hands on.” While we in the United States would consider such actions as petty thievery, Hanson says that the Iraqis view things much differently. “They don’t consider it a bad thing,” he states. “They are just used to doing whatever they have to do in order to get by.”

Though such a difference was at least somewhat understandable, Hanson said that there were others that were just “completely bizarre.” At one point, he witnessed a heated argument between some Iraqis at the gate to the US base, but when a certain Iraqi woman walked past them, they all fell silent as the grave, waiting until she was out of sight before resuming their dispute. Through a translator he and his colleagues learned that the woman had been carrying a handgun, which under Saddam’s regime, was a sign that she had special permission to shoot anyone she wanted without fear of reprisal! Needless to say, Captain Hanson found the people quite fascinating.

After having been deployed for roughly five months, Hanson’s tour of duty came to a sudden end when a disc that had been bothering him in his back finally ruptured, sending him to Germany and ultimately back to the US for treatment. Hardly able to walk, Hanson departed for Germany on December 22, 2007, a day which had seen what Hanson recalls as one of the worst suicide bomb attacks on US troops during his time there. The blast alone had killed around twenty soldiers, injuring many more who, along with Hanson, were being evacuated for treatment. He vividly recollects the scene as one that made him weep over the flight’s duration: to his side, a man who had just returned after seeing his second daughter born, spared from death only by his friend standing between him and the blast; in front of him, another man with “machines stacked four feet high around him on all sides.” Back in the States, and after experiencing some difficulties in his recovery process (mostly red tape), Hanson has now made nearly a full recovery, and has turned what was not the most pleasant of processes into a tool to help other injured soldiers get the appropriate treatment they need, using his misfortune as a way to help others. In October of this past year, Hanson again resumed his regular duties as Circuit Court Judge back home in Martinsville, and has staid hard at work ever since.

With his journey since Wabash carrying him far from the Midwest, even to the Middle East and back, Matt Hanson has displayed to people all over the world all the qualities of a true Wabash man. Whether doing his utmost to be a responsible and effective judge, serving his country miles from home, or simply helping explain the “system” to wounded troops, he has proven to be a man well worth honoring and emulating. May we all learn from his example!

“…Their deeds be noble and grand.”

Note: Students at Wabash currently publish two conservative journals: The Phoenix, put out by the Wabash Conservative Union, and a completely separate publication called The Wabash Commentary.